Tiffany’s Corner

Hi there. If you’re visiting my page, chances are you noticed the changes James made to the welcome page. Looks good doesn’t it? I think so, especially since the picture of me that was there before wasn’t that flattering.

I sit here this evening reflecting on my 2nd day of vacation. It’s been rather relaxing so far.

Yesterday, Friday, James and I went to the movies. Surprise, surprise!

James has been really excited about the new Terminator movie. So I made a deal with him when he came home from work. If he’d get a hair cut, I’d go to the movies with him. I mean, yeah, the movie looked good, but seeing as how the original Terminator came out in 1984 (I was 4, and my little sis was born that year), I really wasn’t as into it  as my husband.

But hey, the movie turned out to be pretty good. Having Christian Bale (Batman) as the main character really helped me get into it, if you know what I mean.

Although I wasn’t a huge fan of the way he talked, all whispery and husky- voiced, a little over-acted if you ask me.

Today was a little more eventful. My afternoon started out with a bang when I was verbally assaulted by a lady at the Fred Meyer gas station.

For those of you who haven’t been to that station, I’ll try and explain how the traffic flow is supposed to work. You see, there is a long line of cars that you join as you approach the station. As one car leaves a gas pump, the car in the front of the waiting line is supposed to pull forward into that spot. Well, today I was the second car in line. The car in front of me pulled forward and to the right of the little cashier’s building. She was clearly going to that side of the gas pumps. Since she was pulled so far forward, I believed that I was now at the front of the line.

I saw a car on the left side of the cashier’s station getting ready to leave. I kept and eye on the other car waiting for a pump, when she didn’t budge, I pulled forward into the now empty spot.

A few seconds later I hear someone behind me saying, “Excuse me! Hey! You!”

I look in my rearview to see the lady driving the car that had been in front of me in line. She leaned out of her window insisting that I move forward and that I’d stolen her spot.

Staying in my car I explained to her that she was clearly on the other side of the cashier’s building, waiting on another spot and that I was not going to move my car.

Then she proceeded to get out of her car, walk towards me, as I was starting to unlock my gas cap, still insisting that I move my car.

Again I told her that I was not moving my car and that she would just have to wait for another spot.

Well, that really pissed her off, as she continued to throw a fit and call me a Bitch for taking her spot!

Hello! What part of, you were on the other side of the freakin’ building don’t you understand?!

To make matters worse, after she pulled her car away from where I was and found another empty pump, she proceeded to come over to my car AGAIN and yell at me for taking her spot.

I smiled politely and told her that if she had a problem she needed to take it up with the management. I got in my car and drove away.

Geez! What a day!

So, crazy lady behind me, I proceeded on with my day.

I did some shopping around town, eventually returning to Fred Meyer to buy a small gas BBQ and some fixin’s for hamburgers and hotdogs.

I came home, baked some yummy cookies, and set about relaxing on the back porch.

Praise the Lord for Vacation! Sleeping in and Vacation should be mandatory.

P.S. Check out this trailor for Sherlock Holmes coming out at Christmas. It stars Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. I can’t wait!!

Happy Easter! I hope everyone had a wonderfully glorious day!

James and I certainly made the most of it. We went to church at CTK and sat with his parents. The service was amazing. The pastor’s message was about “Crossing the Line.”  That is, crossing the line from sinner to saved. Making the choice to accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior. The whole sermon was basically one long alter call, something I’m sure a lot of people attending today needed to hear. It was really moving. The first half of the service was of course, mostly singing. Then the message. And  the last few minutes of the service involved a lot of people, mostly members of the church, standing up on stage with cardboard signs showing their previous label, like “Had Multiple Abortions” and then they’d flip it over to say “Forgiven and Alive in Christ.” It was totally humbling. I think the one that got me the most was when one of the Associate Pastors stood up with his sign that read, “Drug Dealer 15+ years” and he flipped it over to show “Associate Pastor 12 years.”

Wow. Talk about really getting my attention. Sometimes I feel so self-absorbed. But at this service I just couldn’t believe how wonderfully transformed all of these “sinners” were. You know what I mean? Sometimes I feel like no one would understand what I might be going through at any given moment, letalone that God would understand or care about my struggles. But then to see the people, including Pastor Grant, standing up there, bearing the shame of their past and beaming with joy at how God had changed them. It was amazing.

That’s just it. God is amazing. Afterall, he sent his one and only Son to die for us. And he now He lives again. That’s pretty freakin’ awesome!

Chocolate bunnies and marshmellow peeps aside, I have something else I’d like to share with you.

His name is Jo. That’s short for Jumpin’ Jehosaphat. He’s my new goldfish. He was a gift from my Mother-in-Law, Sue. (Thanks again!!)

He is a orange and white Ryukin and he’s HUGE compared to my other Fancy Tail Guppies. This is why I named him Jumpin’ Jehosaphat

He seems to be fitting in nicely with the other 6-8 guppies. I say 6 to 8 because right now I have 3 males and 3 females (two of which are pregnant) and atleast 2 babies that were born within the last week or so. I wish the babies luck, if they can outswim Jo, then I’m sure they’ll go on to live a long and happy life!

Here are some pictures of the other fishies…

School of Yellow Fancy Tail Guppies

Pregnant yellow guppy

Male Yellow Fancy Tail Guppy

And guess what?! I took the pictures of my fish with my new plum colored Nikon Coolpix S220! It’s a really great little camera that we picked up at Costco earlier this week. If you know me, then you know that I love to take pictures. And I’ve been without a camera for almost a year now. Man, it’s been tough!

Well, I think that’s about it for now. I guess I’ll close with a few more pictures that I took of my 20 gallon aquarium.

Have a marvelous Monday and I promise I’ll be more diligent at posting!!

The tank

Checkin' out his new digs

Swimming, Swimming, Swimming (he's channeling Dori) Jo stretchin' his fins

Wow. It has been waaay too long since I’ve posted anything. For that I extend my sincerest apologies.

 So, how is everyone? Mostly I’d like to know if anyone is really out there. It seems like lately all the comments I’ve been “moderating” are from stupid programs or something, because all I can see is gibberish. If you’ve read this post or even glanced at my blog, I’d really like to hear from you!

Well, let’s see what’s new…

I’m reading a really interesting book right now called The Shack.

 Have you heard of it? Apparently it’s quite a sensational book about a man struggling with a pretty powerful depression after his little girl is murdered. Three years after the date of her abduction he receives a note from God asking him to return to the scene of the crime. Can you imagine what you would do it you were in that man’s shoes?! I don’t know if I would even be able to consider returning to such a dark and menacing place! I’ve done a little searching around on the web, seems like “they” are strongly considering making it into a movie. I’ll be very interested to see how that turns out!

I have a rather somber announcement to make. My grandmother passed away last week. This past Saturday was her memorial service in St. Louis, MO. I wasn’t able to attend, but my Mom is there still helping with all the details.

Growing up I wasn’t very close to my extended family, to include my Grandma Rudy. She was my Mom’s mom. She was a very bitter, hard-living, independent woman. She would rather have lived in a travel trailer in the middle of a campground, surviving on basically nothing, than take money from anyone of her relatives. She smoked like a chimney and washed down her numerous pills with Jack Daniels.

She was loving and tender and totally devoted to her little Pekinese. She yelled at the dog all the time. That poor dog!

She sent me cards on my birthdays and Christmas. She couldn’t afford much. If you got a pair of socks from her for Christmas, it really meant alot.

But anything that came in the mail had to be aired out for days, sometimes longer, because of the cigarette smoke.

She was there when my husband and I announced we were getting married, she helped plan and cater the wedding.

Of course, she refused to leave the kitchen during the Rehearsal Dinner, announcing that we were “not her family.”

The last time I saw her was on my Wedding Day. She left my parents’ home and moved back to live with my Uncle Tracey.

She was always much happier with his family. I’m not really sure why. I don’t really understand why we weren’t “her family.” We are pretty disfunctional.

So, for what it’s worth, I love you Grandma. You were quite a lady and I only wish I could have gotten to know you better. You kept things interesting and you gave me a most precious gift, my Mother.

I take comfort in knowing that you are no longer in pain, you are running and jumping and laughing and playing up in Heaven, like you never let yourself do down here on Earth. You can breath, you can smile, you are happy and at peace.

I love you Grandma and we’ll be together again someday.

Me and Grandma at my wedding Sept 2007

Change is good.

Change is refreshing.

Change is neccesary.

Change encourages sanity.

I needed a change.

(No, this has nothing to do with Obama!)

So, I cut off my hair…pretty short. (Don’t worry. I will post pictures in a few days.)

I talked to James tonight about my desire, this heaviness that has been laying on my heart. Too long I feel like I’ve been ducking away from my Christian responsibilities. I know I need to be a better Christian, a truer follower. I need to get back to the basics. I need to change my pessimistic views of life.

And what better time than the holiday season to stop and reexamine the true meaning of life?! I mean, I don’t know how or if, to what extent this may change my life, but I need to give it my all. I need to immerse myself in His Word. I need to study the true message of the Gospel. I want to awaken that childlike faith that lead me to the alter at the age of 10.

Everyday I feel myself slipping further into The World and farther away from His Kingdom. That’s not what I want. God has blessed me so much, fulfilled dreams I didn’t even know I had. Now it’s my turn to grow up, take responsibility, and show him a little gratitude for the sacrifices he has made and will continue to make for me. God is so Great!

I know some of you may think that I’m coming off just a little to much like a Bible-thumper. But I can’t help it. I used to be so gung-ho (is that how you spell it?!), so passionate about my faith. Then I grew up, became jaded by the World and lost sight of the true reason for my existance. I was put here on Earth to spread the Good News, to share the Love of Jesus Christ. How can I do that if all anyone sees in me is a sarcastic smirk and an outlook full of negativity? 

This is it. This is my time for change. Starting tomorrow night James and I will be devoting part of our evening to devotion. To studying the Gospel. To reexaming the true Christmas story. I hope you’ll join us. In your own place and time. Even if just for a few minutes. Stop and count your blessings. Realize how wonderful your life is. And thank the Lord for your salvation.

Happy Holidays everyone and God Belss.

What is it about family? Why do they have to make our lives so miserable sometimes? It’s Thanksgiving week, the beginning of the holiday season. And all we hear about at this time of year is how important it is to spend time with family. But what do you do if your family doesn’t want to have anything to do with you?!

Playing Barbies

I have a sister. Yeah, most people know that. But I bet you don’t know that most of the time I feel like she doesn’t want to have anthing to do with me. I see posters and magnets and cards and such all saying things like “Forever My Sister, Forever My Friend.” It breaks my heart. I wish I knew what it was that I had done to end up with a sibling that regards me as warmly as she would regard the black plague.

Now, some of you might say, “Don’t take it so personal. It probably has nothing to do with you.” Others of you might say, “She’s young and married and she needs to live her own life! She’ll come around!” Yeah, well. I’ve tried telling myself that since we were kids. (The part about her coming around, not the part about her being married!) So far, it’s not very convincing.

There’s a new movie coming out for the Holidays starring Reese Witherspoon. It’s about her and her boyfriend trying to escape the family shenanigans of Xmas, but when their plans get cancelled at the last minute, they are forced to endure not one, but Four Christmases! It looks hilarious, right along the lines of every other goofy holiday movie. But it reminds me again of my sister.

Her and her husband hinted at the idea of going to Vegas for Christmas. When I first heard the idea I was upset. I felt betrayed and left out in the cold. How could she not spend time with me during the Holidays?!

But it’s her life right? I should be happy for her and her husband to be able to get away to a sunny place for a few days. Although if it were me, I’d choose Hawaii or Florida, someplace with less gambling and topless women (okay, maybe that eliminates Florida). But whatever, I guess it’s her Xmas and hopefully James and I will have the same opportunity at some point.

I am having a hard time dealing with all of this newness I guess. You see, in my mind, I am still living at home, my sister is still my little sister, and my parents are still planning everything and asking us to set the table for dinner.

I remember my childhood as mostly happy, with some upsets (namely a move to NC and back) along the way. But through it all, the four of us, my little sister, my parents, and me, we stuck it out. We made it work. We were the Wards.

But now, I’m part of the Burdettes and my sister is a Juarez. I kind of feel like I’m loosing hold of everything. Like, if she doesn’t come to Thanksgiving or Christmas this year, she’ll won’t come next year or the year after that. I’m almost to the point of wondering if I’ll ever see her again…

Does this sound insane? Does anyone else have these feelings? Why can’t our little family just stay the way it was, the way it used to be? It worked then. Why can’t it work now?

Part of me feels like she owes me. We’re almost 5 years apart. Me being older. Most of my adolescence was spent taking care of her. No big deal, that what big sister are for, free babysitting, right? But now that we’re older and can take care of ourselves, shouldn’t I get some kind of payback? Some kind of reward for always being the responsible one? For always setting the good example? For always saying Yes Sir and No Sir to my parents? For keeping the real Santa a secret until little sis figured it out?

The Bridge

Why can’t we be friends? Why can’t we hang out and go shopping? What’s so wrong with me that it’s against every fiber of her  being to be seen with me?

I hear questions like these coming from my parents almost every day. Why doesn’t Brittany care about us? Why doesn’t she ever come over for dinner? What have we done to deserve this?

Then a thought occured to me tonight. I was raised in Washington State. All of my extended family resides on the East Coast, mostly Florida. You see what I’m saying? For more that 25 years my parents have been doing the same thing to their family that my sister is doing to mine! If you don’t want to deal with it, run away! If Mom and Dad can do it, why can’t little sis?

I don’t know. I just don’t know what I can do to change this situation. And maybe that’s the epiphany that I need. It’s not up to me. I can’t fix or change everything-although that is my ultimate goal in life.

No, seriously. Ultimately the dynamics of my family are in God’s hands. I have to stop trying. I have to let it go. I have to trust in Him and know that everything will work out the way it’s meant too. Regardless of how broken my heart is right now.

Me being obnoxious on a mini-roadtrip